Sentenced to America
by Ben Crystal
As it turns out, it’s my Christian duty to throw open the doors and welcome every refugee who manages to fly, walk or swim across our borders. I know this because our liberal friends have taken great pains to remind me at every turn since ISIS rolled across President Barack Obama’s “red line” in vehicles he “mistakenly” provided to them, at a cost to the U.S. taxpayers of hundreds of millions of dollars.
After all, America is the land of the free and the home of the brave. It’s the shining city on the hill. It’s no wonder tired, poor, huddled masses yearning to breathe free are willing to risk life and limb just to find a little place of their own somewhere on the fruited plain. According to our liberal friends, denying that to any widow, orphan and/or victim of oppression is tantamount to treason. In fact, some of them have even suggested that our caution is “doing ISIS work for them.”
Hey, I can dig it. America is pretty damned awesome. This nation is so resilient it has survived multiple wars, multiple economic collapses, multiple famines, multiple pestilences and multiple Clintons. America is so magnificent even our poorest citizens have access to free healthcare, free housing, free cable television and free smartphones. And despite their Hollywood-sized lack of gratitude, we not only tolerate our least sensible citizens, we practically venerate them.
At least, I think America is the best. Apparently, I’m in the minority on that topic. In fact, I find myself a bit confused over how the same people who insist I’m a xenophobic bigot for not setting up a Syrian family in my spare room also seem to think our collective spare room is a total dump.
Ask the so-called “Black Lives Matter” movement. Begun in response to a posture never taken and a question never asked by an NFL-sized thug in Ferguson, Missouri, the BLM kids have made no bones about their disdain for their fellow Americans. According to the banners they wave, signs they carry and epithets they shout at the top of their lungs, America is a horror movie for its darker-hued citizens. Racist white people and homicidal police officers lie in wait around virtually every corner.
BLM’s bratty brothers and sisters seem to share their aversion to the Red, White and Blue. According to the Million Student March, the same campuses that play host to such luminaries as Joyce Carol Oates, Marc Lamont Hill and that crazy-looking communications professor who flipped her lid at the University of Missouri are also hotbeds of racial unrest. From “poop swastikas” to Klan sightings to nooses hanging from trees, college kids contend with “triggers” and “microaggressions” on a virtually daily, albeit imaginary, basis.
Well up the ladder from the intellectual black hole that is liberalism’s rank and file, the Democrats’ ruling elite takes an even dimmer view. Sen. Bernie Sanders wishes America were more like “Denmark.” The only presidential candidate who was alive before World War II wants healthcare, college and pretty much anything else that can be bought, borrowed or stolen to be bought, borrowed or stolen by the federal government. Of course, he has “Denmark” confused with “the Soviet Union;” but at his age, that’s hardly the only thing that he gets confused.
Hillary Clinton thinks America is a misogynist cesspool. “It is past time for women to take their rightful place side by side with men in the rooms where the fates of peoples, where their children’s and grandchildren’s fates, are decided.” An obscenely wealthy woman who built her entire political career on her husband’s coattails thinks it’s tougher for the girls to get a word in edgewise. Hillary also wants us to be on the lookout for self-aware firearms. “Since we last debated in Las Vegas, nearly 3,000 people have been killed by guns.”
Not to be outdone, President Barack Obama thinks the whole country is a nightmare. “(O)ur political system does not work as well as it should … in the United States, there is a growing inequality that I think is a real problem.” And he also thinks half the country shares the same twisted ideology from which refugees are supposedly fleeing. By balking at giving Iran money and the keys to the nuclear weapons locker, we’re “making common cause” with islamofascism.
The left thinks America is the land of violence, sexism, racism, poverty and fear. If this place is a tenth as awful as they claim, I can’t help but wonder what the hell every desperate refugee from here to Syria and back has done to enrage them so.