Monday, September 14, 2015

"What are we waiting for? Let's march for a $1 million minimum wage right now!"

Beyond Bernie Sanders: Why we should raise the minimum wage to $1 million an hour for everyone in America: A lesson in progressive economics

by Mike Adams

To the delight of low-wage workers, Bernie Sanders has come out in favor of a mandatory $15 minimum wage. He's surging in the polls against Hillary Clinton, so he must be doing something right... right?

But I think he's under-cutting America with a paltry $15 an hour minimum wage. If America is supposed to truly accomplish "equality," then why shouldn't burrito rollers at Taco Bell earn as much as, say, a hedge fund manager on Wall Street? Now that's true equality! It's almost downright democracy!

That's why I'm recommending we unilaterally raise the minimum wage to $1 million an hour. There's no reason why the fast food workers who earn the money in this country shouldn't take home more than the hedge fund managers who steal it from them, right? So by invoking the rock-solid principles of liberal economics as taught in the pages of the New York Times, I'm going to explain exactly why $1 million an hour will make America so great again that we don't even need Donald Trump.

See if you can follow my logic... or not.

Why a $1 million minimum wage will solve all our problems and make everybody wealthy almost overnight
Explained in the language of "progressive" economics.

Reason #1) A $1 million minimum wage would eliminate all unemployment overnight.

Obviously, many people decide not to work today because they don't think it's worth the pay. With all the unemployment benefits and food stamps and government subsidies, going to work for a low-paying job just doesn't make financial sense, and that's why 94 million Americans are out of work today.

I don't know why fiscal conservatives can't understand this, but it's obvious that paying everyone $1 million per hour would eliminate unemployment and result in an explosion of economic abundance. You can't argue with that. It works because more money = more abundance!

Reason #2) A $1 million minimum wage would eliminate the national debt in less than five years.

In addition to a $1 million minimum wage enriching all workers across America, it would also eliminate the national debt because of the very high federal tax rates on people who earn over $100,000 per year. If everybody is earning $1 million an hour, then everybody is rich, and since we tax the rich at very high rates, then we can tax everybody into a huge surge of new revenues for the federal government that will eliminate the national debt. You can't argue with that either. It's simple math, folks.

Reason #3) Employers can easily afford the wages because they will receive government subsidies.

Now you might think that employers wouldn't be able to afford paying everyone $1 million a year as a minimum wage, especially those employers at fast food restaurants like McDonald's or Taco Bell. But you clearly don't have an accurate grasp of the amazing ability of governments to create economic abundance on demand.

All that has to happen here is for the federal government to subsidize all employers across America with the amount of money that equals the difference between $1 million per hour and the actual amount that each employee is worth in the free market (about $6 - $10, depending on the region).

And where will this government subsidy money come from? Simple! They confiscate that money by taxing the rich... especially since everybody is now rich. This is how clever government financial planning creates sustainable economic abundance. All we have to do is decide that we're all equal and then elect someone like Bernie Sanders. Through the magic of socialism and equality, we can all take home the same millions that Wall Street crooks earn.

Now, in case you're thinking that fast food restaurants having to pay their employees $1 million per hour would cause them to raise all their food prices to compensate -- $500,000 for a Big Mac, anyone? -- don't worry because I've got that covered, too. The Bernie Sanders administration can simply announce mandatory price controls on everything, including Big Macs and French Fries. Hey, it works in Venezuela, doesn't it? Why can't we enjoy the same organized, centrally-planned economy right here in America, too?

Reason #4) America can lead the world in the number of billionaires, making us No. 1 in something that counts!

With America falling behind every other nation in the world in terms of academic scores, scientific education, work ethics and even medical care, it's important for America to lead the world in something other than the percentage of the population incarcerated in federal prisons.

By paying everyone a minimum wage of $1 million per hour, America can finally lead the world in something that matters: the number of billionaires. Once my $1 million minimum wage agenda kicks into action, America will have more billionaires than any other nation in the world! Everyone who has a job would obviously be a billionaire after just one year of working. How can you argue with that?

Reason #5) A $1 million per hour minimum wage would unleash a massive stock market boom and housing boom.

Everybody knows that the most important thing in an economy of abundance is to make sure that all stock prices keep going up forever. One of the best ways to make this happen is to ensure that there's lots of spending money in the hands of people who buy things and then throw them away, creating horrible gaps in their lives that must be filled by buying yet more things.

So by paying a $1 million minimum wage to every worker across America, we would see an explosion in housing prices, consumer purchasing, stock market valuations, and even the national savings rate. These are all great for the economy! These rising numbers, combined with the zero unemployment rate, would put America on a path of endless economic abundance for decades to come. I'll buy that for a dollar!

What are we waiting for? Let's march for a $1 million minimum wage right now!

In summary, it's clear that the pathway to widespread economic abundance in America is found in socialism and "equality." Redefining the value of money creates instant wealth and abundance, even when no one else is actually working or producing anything at all.

No, wait... I'm confusing my premise with Barack Obama's economic promises. It's Obama who makes irrational and nonsensical economic promises based on wishful thinking and emotional rhetoric rather than economic reality. But if you believe the points I laid out in the story, you're probably willing to believe anything uttered by a president whose primary achievement in the realm of economics has been the destruction of America's economy.

Clearly the answer to all this is to allow unlimited illegal immigration of desperate opportunists who will take all the low-wage jobs that home-grown Americans are barely holding on to as it is. Yeah, that's gotta work out just great! Vote for Bernie Sanders!

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