You Know You Are a Conspiracy Theorist If…
You are capable of critical thinking.
You distrust mainstream media.
You like nature.
You think it’s a good idea to spend the Friday after Thanksgiving with your family rather than camping outside Best Buy to get a cheap plasma television made in China.
You think it’s a little strange that WTC building 7 came down at free fallspeed on 9/11 yet it was never hit by a plane.
You think that drones in America might not be for Al Qaeda.
You would like to be able to get on a plane without having to engage in a mandatory radiation bath and digital strip search.
You have read a book in the past year.
You think you have the right to protest.
You think the War on Terror is a scam.
You think the War on Drugs is a scam.
You think the anger directed at America from the Middle East could possibly be related to our foreign policy rather than hating how amazingly free we are.
You think the Republicans and Democrats are exactly the same on the important issues affecting our country.
You think believing in The Constitution does not constitute a terrorist act.
You have heard of the Bill of Rights and can even name what some of them are.
You question whether the government loves you.
You think the right to bear arms is not for hunting, rather so citizens can fight back should the government become a bunch of tyrannical thugs.
You don’t own a television, and if you do, all you watch is RT, especially the Keiser Report and Capital Account.
You don’t think the NDAA is the name of Kesha’s latest single.
You think rich, powerful and connected people should be subject to the rule of law and go to jail if they commit crimes. Even if they are bankers and work at JP Morgan or Goldman Sachs.
You think corporations aren’t people.
You think Warren Buffet is a phony and a crony capitalist.
You don’t care that Warren Buffet likes cherry coke, hamburgers and ice cream. He’s still a bad guy.
You know that gold was made illegal by FDR in 1933 and confiscated from the American people. You know that gold bullion remained illegal for Americans to own until 1975.
You think politicians that push for war should be sent to fight on the front lines. If they are unable, their children should go.
You want your food to be labeled GMO so that you can make your own decisions on what you are consuming.
You grow your own food.
You buy raw milk.
You think food and energy should be included in inflation calculations.
You are aware that the Department of Homeland Security has purchased 1.2 billion rounds of ammo in the past year.
You question whether said ammo purchases are in anticipation of a Normandy beach style landing by Al Qaeda.
You think allowing a small group of unelected people (The Federal Reserve) to print unlimited amounts of money and distribute it as they please might not be a good idea.
If you answered yes to more than five of the above, you might be a conspiracy theorist. You also may be on the government’s terror watch list. Be very alarmed and report it to the authorities immediately should you discover your neighbors engaged in such uncivilized thought.
Best of luck comrades,