The Republican Party has admitted to widespread voter fraud throughout the country in every Republican primary and caucus held so far this year. They have revealed that Ron Paul has won more than half of them and finished a close second in all the others. They have granted Paul with the lions share of the delegates chosen so far and are admitting that he seems to be the inevitable nominee.
Meanwhile, the Obama Administration has announced a complete victory over terrorism and has begun the withdrawal of all US combat troops from Iraq, Afghanistan and several African countries. As a result of this great victory, the TSA has been disbanded and the use of body scanning x-ray machines at US airports has been halted. All Fusion Centers are being closed and any documents or files collected on American citizens are to be destroyed.
Obama has called for an immediate congressional vote to suspend the Patriot Act and has asked congress to prepare a new version of the NDAA bill deleting the section that allows the indefinite detention of American citizens without due process. He has also called for new legislation denying any president the power to order the assassination of any American citizens either overseas or at home.
In another stunning announcement, the US Treasury will take over the coining and printing of American currency declaring the reign of the Federal Reserve over. A transitional return to the gold standard will begin immediately with all members of the Federal Reserve being requested to hand in their resignations.
In the most stunning turn of events, Obama has admitted he was born in Kenya and has announced his immediate resignation as President of the United States. Joe Biden will take over but will not run for election in November. Dennis Kucinich has thrown his hat into the ring declaring his desire to run for the vacant spot on the ticket. He admitted, the campaign against Ron Paul in the Fall will be a tough one but he was sure the important issues of unemployment, outsourcing of jobs, the continuing banking and housing crises will now be given their due share of attention by the candidates.
Well, we can hope, can't we? April Fools...
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